Better at something before you’ve tried

The other day I saw a funny meme online, it read:

I WAS A BETTER PARENT BEFORE I HAD KIDS. 

I laughed out loud. How true! Before I had kids I knew all of the things I was going to do and succeed in doing to make me the best parent ever. Here are just a few:

I was always going to make the kids eat their veggies. 

I was never going to let them go outside in just their socks. 

I was always going to make sure their clothes matched. Heck, that was so easy!

I was going to go on every roller coaster with each of them as much as they wanted. 

I was going to teach them to always clean up, never forget to turn off lights, and that they need to change bed sheets more often than I did in college. 

Turns out I’ve failed at all of those ideas. We eat veggies around here, but we’ve learned that sweet potatoes can be unpalatable for some. One of my children prefers no shoes. And some clothes color combinations (red and white stripes over an orange and white striped long sleeve shirt anyone?) can be so loved by one kid that you can’t bear to break their excitement about getting dressed all on their own. I get motion sick so much easier now than I did when I came up with these rules. And we try our best to clean up, but I do my fair share of turning lights off for everyone around here and now I take pride in the pennies I’m saving our family. Oh, and the clean sheets...I’m working on it!

Parenting is a huge undertaking; an exciting, worrying, surprising, fulfilling undertaking. And the most important rules you incorporate are hardly the rules you think are the most important when you tend to make these lists. It’s all about how you love those kids and teach them while buoying them up and letting them learn while not stepping on their toes all of the time. 

Yep, I’m pretty sure I had no rules on that kind of stuff before my first was born. 

Truth is, I’ve been a better teacher, artist, problem solver, care giver, program director, librarian, business owner before I was actually any of those things or I have never been any of those things. When people do a job, it’s easy to pick it apart or find ways to do it better before you’ve ever tried that job yourself. Giving each other slack before making a judgment is huge. You never know the whole story about anyone doing anything. And while you’re giving people some slack, don’t forget to give yourself some too.