Milk of the 90s and early 00s

Remember that excellent milk campaign, “got milk?” I don’t know who was paying for such a great marketing team, but milk was all over the place during my childhood. So naturally, I couldn’t resist this pic. 

Today

Oliver is 12 and we can’t believe it. He is ready for summer but has been vigilant and disciplined on getting a math course done for the summer.  

Ansel has a walking field trip at school today. In preparation, he asked if he could walk on the treadmill this morning. He wants to buy an EZy Roller using almost all of his money because he has recently discovered that kids don’t really need money.

Ian goes downstairs every morning and plays Legos. He draws great pictures of people, aliens, and hearts. He’s definitely left handed. 

Elsie has perfected the “only eat the frosting” version of donut consumption. She is currently trying to learn how to jump. 

What’s the real point here?

While visiting Disney World, we waited in some “longer” lines, one of which was Smugglers Run in The Star Wars portion of the park, Galaxy’s Edge. We weaved through ropes and poles, guiding us to the ride. While doing so, we talked with our kids. “What does smuggler mean?” one of them asked, and I gave a simple response, “Someone who takes something secretly.” At that point, a 10-year-oldish boy in front of us who had obviously overheard our conversation, piped in, “A smuggler is a person who participates in the illegal importing of wood.” or something like that. All of us were quite impressed and about to say thank you, when the boy’s father, a parent who had been looking at his phone during this whole exchange, let alone a majority of the line waiting period, yelled, “Hey, don’t talk to strangers! Get over here!” My family was taken aback and Jess, hoping to smooth things over, responded, “I appreciate his knowledge and clear definition. Thanks for sharing.” To which we received no reply. 

I have thought on this interaction over and over again since it happened. What was the point of his parenting declaration? “Don’t talk to strangers?” Um, really? He could have said twenty different things better than that. Let’s see, how about...

- Did he just tell you what smuggle means? He loves Star Wars. 

- We are excited for this ride, can you tell?

- We did a lot of research about this ride. He is pumped. 

- You didn’t ask for a complete definition, but you got it!

Even these:

- Sorry, he loves the dictionary. 

- Wow, I didn’t know he knew that.

- Excuse my son, he loves to share info. 

Or even:

- Sorry about that. 

- Try to stay with me son.  

- Let them have their space. 

But instead he/we got “Don’t talk to strangers!?!” Sometimes I worry that parents aren’t thinking about what certain tips mean and then they use them all wrong to the detriment of the child. The kid who shared his knowledge with us was actually quite helpful and in no way putting himself in danger of any stranger. We were in a line, with our own family, having a conversation about Star Wars. Where is the threat in that? Some could argue that any situation with a stranger is potentially dangerous and with that I’d answer that any minute in a car, at a school, at a grocery store could be potentially dangerous. We are on this earth to connect with people, to talk with one another, to be social beings. There is no way a kid is going to feel that way if his dad is yelling at him not to talk to strangers when they are in a line at an amusement park. The phrase “Don’t talk to strangers” has its value and it is important. I very much understand that. Still, it’s all about context, amirite?

Well, here’s Elsie talking to a stranger. Something she probably shouldn’t be doing in this situation. See, I’m a good parent, I should be writing posts like this. 🤣 

Lemonade

For dinner tonight, we had tilapia with potatoes and asparagus. The tilapia was topped with a garlic and parsley butter and a slice of lemon (can you tell Jess and I have been watching Top Chef?). Ansel took his lemon slice and squeezed the juice on top of the fish. “This makes it so good,” he said while taking a bite. Ian copied his action and tasted his fish. Very quietly I heard him say, “This tastes like lemonade.” Gotta love the observations and the words of a four year old. 

To my mom around Mother’s Day

Oh my goodness, I just spent a couple of  days writing up a wonderful tribute to my mom and it all got erased. How can this be? I’m totally bummed. 

Know that it involved lawn edging, overpriced hot dogs, the art of listening, and the magic of memories to keep you going. 

With that, I give you a photo of my mother with some of her kids and my dad on Mother’s Day, 1999. 

I love that mom is enjoying a favorite of hers here: Cobb salad on the “you are special plate” with a diet cherry coke. 

Better at something before you’ve tried

The other day I saw a funny meme online, it read:

I WAS A BETTER PARENT BEFORE I HAD KIDS. 

I laughed out loud. How true! Before I had kids I knew all of the things I was going to do and succeed in doing to make me the best parent ever. Here are just a few:

I was always going to make the kids eat their veggies. 

I was never going to let them go outside in just their socks. 

I was always going to make sure their clothes matched. Heck, that was so easy!

I was going to go on every roller coaster with each of them as much as they wanted. 

I was going to teach them to always clean up, never forget to turn off lights, and that they need to change bed sheets more often than I did in college. 

Turns out I’ve failed at all of those ideas. We eat veggies around here, but we’ve learned that sweet potatoes can be unpalatable for some. One of my children prefers no shoes. And some clothes color combinations (red and white stripes over an orange and white striped long sleeve shirt anyone?) can be so loved by one kid that you can’t bear to break their excitement about getting dressed all on their own. I get motion sick so much easier now than I did when I came up with these rules. And we try our best to clean up, but I do my fair share of turning lights off for everyone around here and now I take pride in the pennies I’m saving our family. Oh, and the clean sheets...I’m working on it!

Parenting is a huge undertaking; an exciting, worrying, surprising, fulfilling undertaking. And the most important rules you incorporate are hardly the rules you think are the most important when you tend to make these lists. It’s all about how you love those kids and teach them while buoying them up and letting them learn while not stepping on their toes all of the time. 

Yep, I’m pretty sure I had no rules on that kind of stuff before my first was born. 

Truth is, I’ve been a better teacher, artist, problem solver, care giver, program director, librarian, business owner before I was actually any of those things or I have never been any of those things. When people do a job, it’s easy to pick it apart or find ways to do it better before you’ve ever tried that job yourself. Giving each other slack before making a judgment is huge. You never know the whole story about anyone doing anything. And while you’re giving people some slack, don’t forget to give yourself some too.